Do not try to change the other’s personality, for example a person having an introvert personality do not try to change them to being an extrovert. Learn to live with the differences but focus on the other’s strengths.
When you want something from your partner, frame it in a manner where you focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want. ‘I would love it if you could do this’ instead of ‘I hate it when you don’t do that’.
Express gratitude and praise them and be specific about it and thereby doing positive reinforcement for the action you would like more of. For example, ‘thanks for cleaning the room it looks nice and ‘ or ‘you keep the house tip top’.
If you look at your spouse as glass half full, you will see less of the glass full every day.
When you are going through difficult patches, speak to you spouse about past happy moments that you both shared together this helps to rekindle love and drive you both in the right direction.
Be supportive and there for each other, if they are venting about someone do not side with the other person (even if they have a point). Rather validate their feelings and later tell them later if there is something they should have considered which they may not have done. (Validation here means acknowledge what they are saying not necessarily agreeing with it).
Do not take your relationship for granted even if it is solid or beautiful now, without regular maintenance it can soon go out of shape. Keep doing the right things for example, that you continue to go to where you both like going on dates, spending time etc.
Do regular things together even if they are not so romantic like, doing the laundry together
Be in tune with the other’s call for attention, for example be aware of when your partner is looking for a need or want attended to like if they keep on looking at a particular pair of shoes, then if you are able to get it for them.
Small and consistent is better than grand and little, so for example you being greatly affectionate with your wife one day and then not being affectionate for the remainder of the month is not going to go down well. In fact, being affectionate regularly in this example will go further than being greatly affectionate one day only.
So if you want help to reduce unhelpful habits in your marriage book a call now to see how you can.
