Allah commands us to be dutiful to our parents, to be kind to them and avoid any harshness, to not do anything that shows our impatience with them, to be respectful and show humility towards them, and to make dua for them.
The treatment of kindness is to try to do this at a high level almost like they are royalty.
Honoring the parents is based on what they feel is being honored, which is reflective of their background and cultural norms.
This includes advising them in the religion. Anything that you think is khair
Often times dealing with parents when you are grown up is difficult, as long as you know you have done the right thing, you can ignore the hurtful things they say but still treat them with respect and kindness.
The prophet, peace be upon him, advised us that one of the easiest ways to attain paradise is to be dutiful and kind to our parents until they are alive.
If we are honest, there are many times in life when we are at the receiving end of bad behavior and we have to be patient with it, but the people that deserve most that we are patient with this harm are our parents, for obvious reasons. Being kind and patient with them comes more naturally, despite the difficulty, than for anyone else.
The more problem your parents cause for you the more reward that you have and it is not based on their good treatment with you.
Our prophet, peace be upon him, advised us that maintaining the ties of kinship also increases our wealth and life span. The most important of these ties is the one with the parents. This helps motivate us because, inevitably, doing the things that are required of us will require a sacrifice of our time and wealth, which we would like to spend elsewhere, but our parents have the most right to it.
It is important to remember that Allah is merciful beyond our imagination and knows we will make mistakes. We should do as much as we can, i.e., try to get near the goal, and if you can’t, know Allah is the most merciful.
When we make mistakes, which we inevitably will, we turn to Allah in repentance.
